Are you still a kid?
It’s great to be a child at heart. But is being a big baby holding you back? Take Fiona Sandiford’s quiz and find out!
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| 1. | Your boss dangles a promotion in front of you with the promise that you’ll be given “more responsibility”. You… |
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Ask if this means that Friday night drinks, er, work functions, can now be claimed back on expenses. And does this apply to the rest of the week as well? |
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Find out what the responsibilities are and feel relieved that you’ll be able to pay off you credit card debt with the pay rise. |
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Noticeably perk up. You tell your boss as the eldest child, you’ve dealt with siblings and are capable of handling this promotion. Follow up with a gushing thank-you note, written on gold-embossed, personalised stationary. |
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| 2. | You’ve organised a night out for you and your friends. The fun started an hour ago and one of them hasn’t turned up yet. You… |
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Grab a karaoke mic and say that you’re dedicating the next song to her. Lurch into a drunken rendition of “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks. |
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Ring her mum and her last three boyfriends, frantic with worry. Next, you’re going to call the police and declare her a missing person. |
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Text-message her, saying your wondering where she is, but your assuming that she has a valid reason. |
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| 3. | What type of wallet do you carry around? |
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A Gucci copy from Thailand. |
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The latest Gucci with a photo of your cat, Sam, in the plastic window; colour coordinated, naturally, with your palm pilot, laptop, diary and make-up bag. |
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A Hello Kitty velcro number, because it’s so cute. |
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| 4. | What toys do you have displayed on your bed? |
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One favourite teddy that you’ve had since you were a baby. |
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There is hardly any space for you in there, what with your Ask Me More Eeyore, Rock’N’Roll Elmo, Twinkle N’Dream Barney. |
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Does a vibrator count? |
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| 5. | How did you celebrate your last birthday? |
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Family dinner on the day, followed by a night of fancy-dress disco bowling. Invite list: Your mates and a motley crew of hangers-on you vaguely recognise. |
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Ordering a jug of Illusions (to win a free T-shirt) and spending the rest of the night dancing and flirting until you end up with your head over a toilet bowl. |
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Serving a six-course meal made from totally organic ingredients, catering for your lactose-intolerant and gluten-free married friends too. |
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| 6. | You asked your hairdresser for a “J.Lo bedhead” look and end up with Dame Edna ‘do. You… |
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Start crying hysterically and call you mum to ask her to pick you up. |
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Have a ‘Lopez moment’ and demand a free restyle otherwise you’ll sue. |
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Have an ‘Edna moment’ and coax Pierre to fix his follicular faux pas. “A lot of paparazzi will be there tonight, possum. I’ll tell them all where I got this done." |
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