Do you have Life Dysmorphia?
Hate your job? Wish you had a better wardrobe? Can’t even imagine the day you’ll find someone to love? You may be suffering from life dysmorphia. Take our quiz to find out. By psychologist Meredith Fuller.
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| 1. | Your boyfriend suggests you have a boob job. How do you react? |
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A) You are devastated, but this confirms the severe doubts you have always harboured about your sex appeal.
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B) What a fabulous idea! You book in for a 16DD (despite being a petite size 8 with a family history of osteoporosis).
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C) You’re perfectly happy with your breasts the way they are, thank you, and suggest that he consider a penis enlargement.
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| 2. | Thinking about the long-term future… |
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You doubt that your Super funds and investment portfolio will keep up with the lifestyle you’ll want in 40 years’ time. In fact, you won’t risk living with a guy in case it doesn’t work out and you’d have to split assets. |
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The future will take care of itself. You’ll probably marry a gorgeous futures trader who will look after you in style. Right now you enjoy travelling overseas and splurging on shoes. |
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You plan to see a financial adviser down the track, but for now you are studying part-time to increase your marketability or requesting job rotations and access to a mentor to fast-track your career. |
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| 3. | Lifestyle TV programs and magazines make you feel: |
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Depressed. You can’t afford Nigella’s kitchen appliances and you’d be mortified if anybody came round to your home because your furniture’s desperately uncool. |
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Inspired. You’ve just splashed out on a $7,000 sofa so you can impress your friends. Sure, you’ll have to survive on bagels for a season because it’s on credit, but it’s worth it. |
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Empowered. You create a similar look on a budget at Ikea, but don’t worry about your old pots and pans because you’re not into cooking anyway. |
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| 4. | Which of these three colours is your favourite? |
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Black. |
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Pink. |
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Blue. |
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| 5. | The celebrity you most identify with is: |
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Geri Halliwell. |
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Christina Aguilera. |
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Cameron Diaz. |
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| 6. | The motto that would best describe your attitude is: |
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The glass is half empty. |
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The glass is overflowing because you use crystals, feng shui and positive affirmations. |
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The glass is half full (hopefully, of champagne). |
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| 7. | Love is fundamentally… |
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Something that has so far eluded you. Your prince always seems to be a commitment-phobic frog who hops away or a boring frog who won’t take a hint. |
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A perfect magnetic wave of soul-connection and hot sex that is happy ever after. |
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About sharing your life with someone you like and respect, who has similar interests and values. You’re confident you’ll find your soul mate when the time is right. |
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| 8. | You are seated opposite the mirrored wall at a restaurant with a hot guy. Do you: |
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Groan every time you catch a glimpse of a blemish and notice the start of your first wrinkle? |
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Automatically smile at yourself every time you look up? |
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Take a quick glance now and then to check you don’t have spinach between your teeth and that your hair is okay? |
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| 9. | How do you feel about your job? |
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Resentful, because it doesn’t pay what you’re worth, use your talents or offer travel perks. |
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Lucky. To even have a job is such a privilege, you really don’t mind photocopying and doing coffee runs eight hours a day. |
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You wouldn’t necessarily choose to hang out with all your colleagues on the weekend, but it’s rewarding and you’re satisfied at least 65 per cent of the time. |
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| 10. | When you hear news of a friend’s big Lotto win… |
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You’re so choked with envy you think you’ll explode. Why do these amazing things only ever happen to other people? |
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You’re so thrilled for her that you call round with champagne and flowers to celebrate. |
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You’re happy, interested and crack a joke about her paying off your credit-card debts. |
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| 11. | Someone gets promoted above you. You: |
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Feel depressed. Nothing good ever happens for you so what is the point of even trying? |
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Are secretly peeved but act happy about it because surely it will be your turn next. |
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Are surprised. You ask your manager what you could do to improve your prospects for a future promotion. |
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| 12. | You suffer from phone rage, road rage, supermarket-trolley rage, and other rages... |
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Daily. You win first prize for spitting the dummy but it’s just in your nature. People should just learn to live with it. |
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Rarely or never. There is no such thing as a disaster, it is merely an inconvenience that can be resolved with a little patience and understanding. |
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Occasionally. You can get tetchy with PMT or when you haven’t had enough sleep, but you’re usually pretty good-natured and patient. |
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| 13. | How would you describe your current (or most recent) boyfriend? |
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He is fairly attractive, faithful and does his best to make me happy. But I often have to drop huge hints before he’ll plan a weekend away or smarten up his dress sense. Why do I always pick the guys who need work? |
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He is gorgeous, faithful, worships me and has a sense of humour. So I don’t really mind that he has a gambling problem because I am sure he will get better after his Saturn’s Return. |
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He is good-looking, faithful, loves me and has a fantastic sense of humour. We’re a great match. |
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| 14. | Choosing a movie to watch with my friends is difficult because: |
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I’ve seen everything and I don’t think much of their choices. |
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They worry that I’ll get bored if I’ve already seen a movie and I have to keep telling them I don’t mind seeing it again. |
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There are so many options and my friends are so diverse it can be hard to pick a winner that everyone will enjoy. |
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| 15. | Children are starving in Africa. How do you feel about it? |
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It’s sad but I’ve got other things to worry about, such as that overdue parking fine and getting my roots re-done. |
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I‘m sure we can fix the world’s problem if we all meditate together. |
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I sponsor a child through World Vision. Each small action contributes to making the planet a better place. |
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